| “The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” - George Jessel |
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| “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” - Bob Hope |
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" Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. "
-Albert Einstein
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| “My life needs editing.” - Mort Sahl |
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| “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” - Lana Turner |
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| “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey |
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